We’re All Better Off with Children in Our Lives

On the decline of multigenerational gathering spaces

Photo by fstop123/Getty Images Signature

Confession: I’m not really what you’d call a “kid person.”

I don’t actively dislike children, but I have my limits. As the oldest cousin on both sides of my family, I used to engage with the younger kids at Thanksgiving and other family gatherings for a requisite period of time, then sneak off to a corner to disappear into my book.

My sister was the one whom our younger cousins worshiped. They followed her around like the Pied Piper, pulling and tugging at her, all shrieks and giggles.

It’s fitting that she followed in the footsteps of our parents and became a teacher. My entire family has made a living from engaging with children — except for me, the Black Sheep, who has always worked office jobs.

It’s also somewhat ironic that I’m the one with kids of my own while my sister is childfree.

I’ve written a lot about the needless stresses of modern motherhood. But at the end of the day, I’m also hugely grateful to have children in my life. They make me laugh, often at unexpected times. They give me permission to be silly. They lure out my curiosity, invigorate my creativity. They dive headfirst into their emotions — for every tear, there is also a moment of unfettered joy .

They push me to grow. Their questions motivate me to think more deeply about what I accept as truth. Their vivid imaginations inspire my own sense of play.

I still have my limits with children. I still often yearn to sneak off and disappear into a book. But if I didn’t have my own children, I often wonder whether I’d interact with children much at all. And while a childfree existence sounds peaceful, to be sure, the thought of it also makes me sad.