You're Getting Married! Congrats...?

It's hard for me to summon much enthusiasm for weddings these days

Photo by kkshepel via Canva.

When my male coworker recently proposed to his girlfriend, I wanted to feel happy for them. Of course, I sent my requisite CONGRATS! on Slack, studded with champagne and confetti emojis.

In the last couple weeks, I’ve to tried to muster the same enthusiasm for my cousin and for my stepson. They all seem so damn happy about their impending nuptials, and I don’t want to to rain on their parade. But truth be told, I find it it hard to get too excited when I learn that a heterosexual couple has gotten engaged.

Here’s what I want to tell the soon-to-be grooms:

I hope you listen. I hope you try to understand. I hope you don’t dismiss her. I hope you see and value her labor. I hope you take the initiative to learn and grow.

And what I want to tell the soon-to-be brides:

I hope you stand up for yourself. I hope you don’t lose yourself. I hope you don’t let resentment quietly grow and fester. I hope you don’t give up too much. I hope you don’t feel compelled to do it all.