Hi Kerala! I found your stack through the latest Writers Hours - I'm also a new, small writer, looking for the best ways to connect! Looking forwards to more of Mom, Interrupted - I'm a mom of 2 teen boys + 1 pre-teen girl :) I hope you'll also enjoy visiting me at Moments where I share weekly photography + stories about moments of connecting in nature & everyday life :) This post resonated, definitely - I enjoy having a cold beer curled up on the couch at the end of a long day, but you definitely nailed all the ways that there's really nothing funny about mommy wine culture.
First, your meme is gold 😁 And I don't think memes in general will ever get tired for me!
I was a single mom for my son's entire life so I didn't really look for nor expect help. Our village was me and I just bucked up and did it.
I worked full-time, had him I'm sports, played both parent roles, etc. And I don't drink at all. The ONE thing on your list I could have desperately used was affordable child care. I remember at one point, daycare cost the exact same amount as my rent each month. Single parenting was more of a financial burden than any other type of burden but I don't ever recall thinking I was dealt a bad hand. It was just life!
Yes, childcare is absolutely the issue that emerges as #1 when you talk to most any group of mothers. It's also gotten measurably worse, particularly since Covid. Plus, parenting through Covid school closures left so many mothers feeling totally taken for granted and left out in the cold. I'm glad (and impressed) you were able to maintain such a positive attitude throughout your childrearing years. I try my best to appreciate all the wonderful things I have in life, which are plentiful, but I really mourn the decline in community, both for my own and my children's sake.
There were days during the lockdowns when working from home and caring for a newborn where a 10am wine was really tempting. I never did, as it's a slippery slope to poor coping mechanisms.
Unfortunately these days alcohol of any kind makes gives me insomnia, so I keep it to a beer on the weekends. I do still love margaritas but too many makes parenting (and functioning) the next day a challenge.
My body is definitely pretty firm with me these days about consuming too much alcohol! Every time I think, "Hey, I deserve to let loose a little," my body makes sure I regret it.
Good take, but just so you know, I was the domestic caregiver AND breadwinner in my first marriage, and that didn't stop my first ex from being a wine mom. I sobered up in my first marriage and have been for a decade; as far as I can tell, she still drinks as much as I did with my extra 80 pounds of body mass.
Not everything ties back to men needing to do more all the time.
Absolutely. I certainly wasn't implying that all female drinking ties back to gender inequity. I do think this is at the crux of Mommy Wine Culture, but women drink for many other reasons as well. Behind stress or anxiety, the #1 reason that often (though not always) has to do with the second shift and mental load, women cite romantic relationships, pressure from family or friends, traumatic experience, and a general feeling of boredom as being the amongst the top five reasons for drinking.
Hi Kerala! I found your stack through the latest Writers Hours - I'm also a new, small writer, looking for the best ways to connect! Looking forwards to more of Mom, Interrupted - I'm a mom of 2 teen boys + 1 pre-teen girl :) I hope you'll also enjoy visiting me at Moments where I share weekly photography + stories about moments of connecting in nature & everyday life :) This post resonated, definitely - I enjoy having a cold beer curled up on the couch at the end of a long day, but you definitely nailed all the ways that there's really nothing funny about mommy wine culture.
Glad to connect, and I look forward to checking out your Stack!
First, your meme is gold 😁 And I don't think memes in general will ever get tired for me!
I was a single mom for my son's entire life so I didn't really look for nor expect help. Our village was me and I just bucked up and did it.
I worked full-time, had him I'm sports, played both parent roles, etc. And I don't drink at all. The ONE thing on your list I could have desperately used was affordable child care. I remember at one point, daycare cost the exact same amount as my rent each month. Single parenting was more of a financial burden than any other type of burden but I don't ever recall thinking I was dealt a bad hand. It was just life!
Yes, childcare is absolutely the issue that emerges as #1 when you talk to most any group of mothers. It's also gotten measurably worse, particularly since Covid. Plus, parenting through Covid school closures left so many mothers feeling totally taken for granted and left out in the cold. I'm glad (and impressed) you were able to maintain such a positive attitude throughout your childrearing years. I try my best to appreciate all the wonderful things I have in life, which are plentiful, but I really mourn the decline in community, both for my own and my children's sake.
There were days during the lockdowns when working from home and caring for a newborn where a 10am wine was really tempting. I never did, as it's a slippery slope to poor coping mechanisms.
Unfortunately these days alcohol of any kind makes gives me insomnia, so I keep it to a beer on the weekends. I do still love margaritas but too many makes parenting (and functioning) the next day a challenge.
My body is definitely pretty firm with me these days about consuming too much alcohol! Every time I think, "Hey, I deserve to let loose a little," my body makes sure I regret it.
Good take, but just so you know, I was the domestic caregiver AND breadwinner in my first marriage, and that didn't stop my first ex from being a wine mom. I sobered up in my first marriage and have been for a decade; as far as I can tell, she still drinks as much as I did with my extra 80 pounds of body mass.
Not everything ties back to men needing to do more all the time.
Absolutely. I certainly wasn't implying that all female drinking ties back to gender inequity. I do think this is at the crux of Mommy Wine Culture, but women drink for many other reasons as well. Behind stress or anxiety, the #1 reason that often (though not always) has to do with the second shift and mental load, women cite romantic relationships, pressure from family or friends, traumatic experience, and a general feeling of boredom as being the amongst the top five reasons for drinking.