The gift of fury, validation, and empowerment
Plus, a free tote bag!
Dear Readers,
I don’t do this very often. Okay, I’ve never done it. This is the first time I’m explicitly reaching out to my readers to ask that you consider purchasing a gift subscription to “Mom, Interrupted.”
You should know that this makes me supremely uncomfortable. As I’ve explained in a previous story, I have mixed feelings about asking people to pay for my work. On the one hand, artists deserve to be compensated for their labor and vital contributions to society. On the other hand, capitalism ruins everything.
I accept this tension because allowing two different things to be true is one of many ways we can interrupt the binary thinking that plagues and divides us. And if you read this newsletter, you’ll know that interrupting social narratives is kind of my thing.
Let’s face it—there are lots of social narratives out there in dire need of interrupting.
It seems I’m not the only one on a marvelous, terrifying journey of deconstruction and unlearning. We’re all doing it, in some form or fashion, together. I don’t have all the answers, not by a long shot, but my hope is that in sharing my own stories, I can help you better understand yours.
Let’s all feel mad as hell together, let’s resist together, and let’s laugh and cry a bit along the way.
Okay, now it’s time for the grudging “show me the money” portion of this letter. Ready? Let’s go.
First things first. I’m a little ashamed to admit that I suffer from an increasingly common condition called “checkmark envy.” You see, people who write Substack bestsellers get checkmarks next to their names that show everyone they’re more important than the rest of us. I’m only 49 paid subscribers away from becoming a Substack bestseller.
If you’re wondering what you or a loved one will get in exchange for your hard-earned money, I’m excited to share my plans to launch a “micro-interruptions series” for paid subscribers only in 2025. This series will consist of short reflections on small actions I’ve taken or observed that challenge the conventional stories we tell ourselves. I wrote a note back in October about braiding my daughter’s hair that will give you a taste.
But also, I’ll be honest—while it’s only fair that paid subscribers get a little something extra, how much extra can any of us really handle these days? A paid subscription or gift subscription is mostly about supporting my work. Each story I write takes me anywhere from eight to 10 hours, and that’s not even counting all the hustling writers have to do these days to engage and respond and promote.
I’m currently writing for a rate of less than $6 an hour, which, on the bright side, is $6 more an hour than I get paid for raising my children. But I don’t think I’ll be able to retire from my day job any time soon.
So if you know of anyone struggling with the demands of unpaid caregiving, struggling with their paid job, struggling with their marriage, struggling with their divorce, or just… struggling, let’s bypass the self-help/self-care capitalist industrial complex and give them the gift of fury, validation, and empowerment instead.
I offer no magic formulas, no expert advice, no life-changing product recommendations. I offer only my stories and sometimes rambling thoughts. Here’s what some of my paid subscribers have to say:
"I appreciate your real voice. You consistently write things that make me think and also help me feel seen and understood. I appreciate your vulnerability as well.”
"Felt incredibly seen reading your piece on the cognitive dissonance of motherhood. I feel like I've been gaslit by society. As I sit in my cubicle, none of this has made sense to me, and I always go back to the idea that it's because I am personally doing it wrong. I love what you've written. I'm happy to help support your work. All I have to say is: LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK."
"This year for my birthday I decided to give myself the gift of more of your writing! I love everything you write because it makes me think and brings new insights into issues I care about. And I'm not even a mom!"
"Your frank, fresh voice is important, and you provide a peek into the lives of women of your generation (including my two daughters). And you make me laugh out loud."
"I discovered you on Medium and have been a fan of yours for a while now, Kerala. You have a gift for articulating exactly what I (what many of us) are feeling and thinking but can't quite put into words. Thank you for all your smart, funny, spot-on work. I am so happy to support you. "
If you made it this far, thanks for reading, and if you feel inspired to gift a paid subscription, thank you all the more. We’re all on a helluva journey. It’s not one I’m sure I could stomach alone, and I’m so happy to be taking it with you.
Yours truly,
Kerala
p.s. I was just kidding about the tote bag. You don’t really need another tote bag, do you?
I purchased a month for a loved one. :)
Your work is worth supporting Kerala, and I don’t think you should have to feel like you’re bowing to capitalism to ask for that support.
There are other lenses we can look through as creators and supporters, such as communitarianism/collectivism.
Many people who want to contribute won’t see this as a cold, disinterested market exchange where they are trying to negotiate the best exchange for themselves as an act of self-interest; only to cut you off if they find a more competitive offer.
My sense is that most who resonate with your work actually believe in it and want to support it, at least in part because they want to see more of this in the world — not just for themselves, but for everyone they wish could hear it.
You manage to articulate important perspectives in such compelling ways, it’s a gift that not everyone who experiences these things has, so it should be no surprise that those who find you saying the things they wish they could want to back you to keep doing it.
I really hope this doesn’t come across as #mansplainy, it’s something I’m trying to negotiate with my own writing, and know how often I fall into the “is this just capitalism?” trap myself.
Kia kaha! (Stay strong)
Shane.