Thx for pointing this out and now I can’t help but think the sexism behind making care invisible is not unrelated to the sexism of rape culture and assault. A missed opportunity there.
Please let me know if it does! I believe all sexism is interconnected and would love to see the dots connected on this one. I do think the invisibility of care and reproductive rights are very much related... pro-lifers are so focused on the life of the unborn baby but totally discount the care required for that baby to grow into a healthy adult after it's born.
Agree! All sexism is interconnected. Amanda Montei's book "Touched Out" comes to mind. She argues that rape culture and the exploitation of motherhood are connected. Which is to say that in both cases women’s bodies are expected to serve men and children, not have any sort of identity to themselves.
Certainly this can be expanded to care work on a larger scale--both mothers and paid care workers, and the complicated relationship bw the two.
Yes, I just have a general issue with all the enormous (and immaculate) houses TV & movie families live in! I've always lived in small houses and most people I know live in small/medium-sized houses. It would be such an easy way to make characters more relatable.
All that said, I think Better Things should be required viewing for anyone with pre-teen/teenage daughters. When my childfree sister recommended the show, she said she did think it was a bit over-the-top how mean the kids were to their mom. I watched it and told her nope, it's 100% accurate! But I also appreciate how much love there is between Sam and her daughters, too.
I think it's important when we seek out "feminist" films to see who is involved in the writing, production, and directing. There is no point to any "feminist" film if the majority of the voices behind it are male, and this is exceptionally common, which might be why so many of these movies leave us wanting.
I really wanted to watch this film but as soon as I saw Brad Pitt was one of the producers I removed it from my list. I absolutely refuse to watch any more "entertainment" with known abusers in, or involved in, them. Period. As a feminist I am not "entertained" knowing my dollars are enriching abusers or watching them on screen. And no, you cannot separate the art from the artist, that is simply convenient white supremacist patriarchal misogynistic cover so that men do not have to be held to account for their abusive behaviour while continuing to get paid.
Brad Pitt was found to have abused Angelina Jolie and several of their kids by the FBI in regards to the incident on their private plane, that's why she divorced him. Two of their kids testified against him and a third wanted to but was deemed to young. Most of their kids want nothing to do with Pitt anymore, and many are changing their last names to Jolie only. I believe Jolie, and I believe those kids. Pitt is still financially abusing Jolie through the courts in regards to their wine business. He is not a "good guy" or a "nice guy" no matter how much Hollywood wants to continue to launder abusive men's behaviour. Pitt knew what Wienstien had done to Jolie and still chose to work with him, that's not allyship.
People still watch Woody Allen movies knowing he's a pedophile, and he absofuckinglutely is, come at me! I believe Dylan Farrow! DiCaprio grooms teenagers then dumps them before their prefrontal cortex has completely formed. Don't even get me started on Johnny Depp's extensive history of violent behaviour, vile comments about women, grooming teenagers, and abuse. Hollywood is a cesspool of abusers and rapists, and we are complicit when we refuse to vote with our dollars, then we wonder why nothing changes.
There are so many movies I wish I could watch, like the new Ryan Reynolds movie, "If", but again Pitt is involved. We could create the world we want but it takes work. Admittedly it is sometimes exhausting having to comb through IMDB and research who is involved. But what I have found is that the entertainment I do consume is of far higher quality with much richer layers, and I consume less mindless BS in total. If we want a compassionate world we must lead with our own, that means taking the time to consider what we consume and that we aren't complicit in propagating harm.
On the topic of music Katy Perry's new single "Woman's World" had more men involved in the writing and overall production, and was produced by Dr. Luke known for sex crimes and sued by Kesha for rape and sexual abuse. We need to pay attention to women who continue to support men who are known abusers too.
Thank you for writing this. I'm glad I'm not the only one watching tv and wondering, "where are your children??"
The eternal question!
Thx for pointing this out and now I can’t help but think the sexism behind making care invisible is not unrelated to the sexism of rape culture and assault. A missed opportunity there.
Oh i’m curious what you mean by this…if you don’t mind elaborating.
I feel like that would probably require /merit a separate essay of my own to properly connect the dots …which could happen at some point! 😅
Please let me know if it does! I believe all sexism is interconnected and would love to see the dots connected on this one. I do think the invisibility of care and reproductive rights are very much related... pro-lifers are so focused on the life of the unborn baby but totally discount the care required for that baby to grow into a healthy adult after it's born.
Agree! All sexism is interconnected. Amanda Montei's book "Touched Out" comes to mind. She argues that rape culture and the exploitation of motherhood are connected. Which is to say that in both cases women’s bodies are expected to serve men and children, not have any sort of identity to themselves.
Certainly this can be expanded to care work on a larger scale--both mothers and paid care workers, and the complicated relationship bw the two.
Lane, lmk your thoughts on the comment I just made about this ...
Hello, I don’t see them?
https://substack.com/@theangryyogi/note/c-63094209
Tully! I also didn't watch it until several years after it came out. We did an episode about it with the great Janet Manley: https://motherofitall.substack.com/p/march-movie-club-janet-manley-on-db1
Oooh.. I've never heard of it. Can't wait to learn more, thanks for the rec!
Great points! I really loved Better Things even though it does spark some of that picturesque/social media type envy.
Yes, I just have a general issue with all the enormous (and immaculate) houses TV & movie families live in! I've always lived in small houses and most people I know live in small/medium-sized houses. It would be such an easy way to make characters more relatable.
All that said, I think Better Things should be required viewing for anyone with pre-teen/teenage daughters. When my childfree sister recommended the show, she said she did think it was a bit over-the-top how mean the kids were to their mom. I watched it and told her nope, it's 100% accurate! But I also appreciate how much love there is between Sam and her daughters, too.
Ha! It's so well done and 100% accurate.
Kerala, this is so important and beautifully said. I wrote an article last year espousing many of the same ideas (https://momsraisingmoms.com/2023/05/13/celebrating-mothers-day/). It's so nice to find other women in the chorus.
Thanks Maureen! Looking forward to checking out your article!
You’re always so spot on.
I say "where are the kids?" to my husband all the time. Great piece, Kerala.
Ha, good to know I'm not the only one saying this!
I think it's important when we seek out "feminist" films to see who is involved in the writing, production, and directing. There is no point to any "feminist" film if the majority of the voices behind it are male, and this is exceptionally common, which might be why so many of these movies leave us wanting.
I really wanted to watch this film but as soon as I saw Brad Pitt was one of the producers I removed it from my list. I absolutely refuse to watch any more "entertainment" with known abusers in, or involved in, them. Period. As a feminist I am not "entertained" knowing my dollars are enriching abusers or watching them on screen. And no, you cannot separate the art from the artist, that is simply convenient white supremacist patriarchal misogynistic cover so that men do not have to be held to account for their abusive behaviour while continuing to get paid.
Brad Pitt was found to have abused Angelina Jolie and several of their kids by the FBI in regards to the incident on their private plane, that's why she divorced him. Two of their kids testified against him and a third wanted to but was deemed to young. Most of their kids want nothing to do with Pitt anymore, and many are changing their last names to Jolie only. I believe Jolie, and I believe those kids. Pitt is still financially abusing Jolie through the courts in regards to their wine business. He is not a "good guy" or a "nice guy" no matter how much Hollywood wants to continue to launder abusive men's behaviour. Pitt knew what Wienstien had done to Jolie and still chose to work with him, that's not allyship.
People still watch Woody Allen movies knowing he's a pedophile, and he absofuckinglutely is, come at me! I believe Dylan Farrow! DiCaprio grooms teenagers then dumps them before their prefrontal cortex has completely formed. Don't even get me started on Johnny Depp's extensive history of violent behaviour, vile comments about women, grooming teenagers, and abuse. Hollywood is a cesspool of abusers and rapists, and we are complicit when we refuse to vote with our dollars, then we wonder why nothing changes.
There are so many movies I wish I could watch, like the new Ryan Reynolds movie, "If", but again Pitt is involved. We could create the world we want but it takes work. Admittedly it is sometimes exhausting having to comb through IMDB and research who is involved. But what I have found is that the entertainment I do consume is of far higher quality with much richer layers, and I consume less mindless BS in total. If we want a compassionate world we must lead with our own, that means taking the time to consider what we consume and that we aren't complicit in propagating harm.
https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/news/general-news/why-shiloh-jolie-pitt-announced-name-change-proposal-los-angeles-times-1235954513/
On the topic of music Katy Perry's new single "Woman's World" had more men involved in the writing and overall production, and was produced by Dr. Luke known for sex crimes and sued by Kesha for rape and sexual abuse. We need to pay attention to women who continue to support men who are known abusers too.